A beginner's guide to spanking: Everything you need to know (2024)

Spanking has been a popular activity in the bedroom for centuries.

It was mentioned in the ‘Harris’ list of Covent Garden Ladies’ (a Georgian review of prostitutes in London), with one practitioner being described as using ‘more birchrods in a week than Westminster school in a twelvemonth’.

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However, it’s definitely one to build up to. And you certainly shouldn’t run before you can walk, as it can lead to some rather painful injuries that would make life a little harder when sitting on the bus.

Or maybe that’s your thing?

Either way, take it slow and steady and remember that sometimes, even just the threat of a good, hard spank will be enough to send shivers down someone’s spine.

Tools of the trade

Choose your instruments wisely. For a beginner, you don’t want anything that’s too solid or too flexible. In fact, just your hand would do quite nicely.

Start by ‘warming up’ the area; massage it, squeeze it, tap it lightly to get the blood going. This is also a great time to listen to how your partner reacts. Plus, it can be very pleasing to watch a nice, soft blush occur.

Many spankees favour the hand as it’s that body-to-body impact they enjoy.

Also, your hand is much more dexterous – I used to love giving a few light taps, followed by a really hard one when they were least expecting it, then clutching the buttocks and running my nails down them while they were ‘heating up’.

This can get a little tiring on your palm, so move on to a nice flexible strap or paddle when you’re ready.

These are also good for a beginner because it spreads the impact out; with something like a cane, it’s all concentrated in one area and therefore gets too much for a newbie to take very quickly.

Areas

There are plenty of areas you can aim a good spanking to. Most popular is, of course, the bum. It’s nice and soft, blushes quickly, and no one will see it if you’re keen on getting spanked to bruising point.

Otherwise, people are keen on getting a swift caning to the tops of the thighs (from behind), but I would only recommend this when you’re a bit more practiced as you need a good aim.

Other areas you can consider are to the bottom of the feet (otherwise known as ‘bastinado’), across the breasts/pecs, and palms of the hands if you’re going for more of a corporal punishment feel.

If you’re feeling wild, some people are also keen on a smack on the genitals – but definitely check on that one first.

One of the reasons why you’d want to work up to more flexible instruments – such as floggers and whips – is because there are definitely areas you want to avoid.

If someone is kneeling, it’s very easy for a misplaced flogger or whip to curl around their torso and end up hitting their kidney area, which could lead to internal damage.

Techniques to try

Think about why you’re spanking someone; is it because they’re being punished? In which case, you might do it for endurance, so a slow, methodical build up in pace and tools would be ideal.

Is it to test their limits? Or just to watch them squirm? Maybe you’re just a bit of a sadist and enjoy using their body (nothing wrong with that, plenty of masochists will let you.)

Either way, this is your chance to play.

Remember to set any limits beforehand as well as a safe word – something they can say that will end the play immediately.

Spanking isn’t just continuously hitting someone with the same thing at the same pace over and over and over until you’re bored.

Start off with a light flick, and build up. Stop occasionally, and feel free to tease them.

As a spanker, you should be having just as much fun with your sub as they are.

Positions

Over The Knee (OTK) is great for scenarios where the sub has been naughty.

It’s a whole world in itself, and there are specific sites dedicated to it.

But for a swift bit of punishment, you can’t beat pulling someone onto your knee and swiping them with your hand, or even a nearby brush.

Restraining someone is also a great way to tease your partner.

If they’re bound and blindfolded, they have no idea whats coming next; if you’re going to go hard or soft, fast or slow. They also can’t see what instrument you’re going to use so really feel free to play.

It’s also fun to watch them tense when they feel nothing but the breeze coming from a paddle you might be waving near the target area, or hear the swoosh of a cane as you flick it through the air.

Remember to treat this as a beginner activity and not go too hard, too soon. It’s just something fun for you to both enjoy if you’re starting to experiment with BDSM.

You will need a safe word, and I often find that with punishment/impact play, it takes a bit of a come-down afterwards with lots of cuddles and reassurance.

After all, this is just play.

Miranda Kane will be performing her show ‘Crossbones’ at Edinburgh Fringeuntil August 27.

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A beginner's guide to spanking: Everything you need to know (2024)

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